So things didn't progress with Julian. I called him twice, and he hasn't called me back. Oh well. I wasn't too impressed with him anyway. The guy is a month off of his anti psychotic meds! That explains a whole lot! Yea, no thanks.

I'm pretty sure one of my coworkers, whom I thought was an MTF TG, is a biological woman. I found out she's in her mid 30s. The confusion was probably brought on by her plastic surgery, which I could tell she's had. I'm both disappointed and relieved. I LOVE the TGs but sometimes I need a break from all the GAY. I'm sure many of my coworkers at my new job suspect I'm gay 'cause of my clothes and my mannerisms (which are more on the masc. side in the gay world, but are probably closer to the fem. side in the straight world.) Or maybe not. I'm not really sure where I fall in the masc/fem scale. Sometimes I think the only way to really find out would be to videotape myself in a natural setting and watch myself. Then I realize just how freaking SCARY that would be. I'd have like panic attack/nervous breakdown I bet. The mirror only gives you a glimpse of how you look... I like to fill in the blanks of what I can't see... kinda like what you do when you're starting a new relationship.

Aaah!!! I found my High School crush (more like unhealthy obsession), Natalie Melton, on MySpace. We exchanged messages/comments and I found out... she had a crush on me too!!! Natalie MELTON had a crush on ME! I was so fucking obsessed with this girl from 9th grade to 12th grade. I used to stalk her around school, i.e. taking the way longer route to my next class in order to pass her in the hall eventually causing me to get a C in my next class from showing up late way too many times. I used to get crazy intense butterflies whenever I saw her and mild panic attacks after I talked to her. Haha... I wonder what it would be like to see her again.

I'm getting to know this guy I've had the HUGEST crush on for the past 3 months. He's really sweet and incredibly beautiful. I think this could go somewhere. I'm taking it slow, and it seems like he is too. He just broke up with his boyfriend a week or two ago, and I'm still not fully over Abi, so this could be a good rebound for the both of us. I just know it feels amazing whenever I get a chance to touch his skin or hug him. *le sigh*

I bought an iPod yesterday! 30 fucking gigabytes, baby! Sure it was 300 bucks, but I've been working so much, I think I deserve it, and most importantly, I can afford it... kinda. There's only so much BAD 90's dance music I can take at the gym. I wanted to get the Nano to wrap around my arm when I work out, which I think looks incredibly sexy for some reason, but they ran out of those, so I forked over an extra 50 bucks for 26 more gigz. I already uploaded like 10GB of music including every album from Ani DiFranco, Radiohead, Belle & Sebastian, Kate Bush, et al. Also, it plays videos! I still have about 8 gigz to upload, which gives me a big sigh of relief that I spent the extra 50 bucks for a shit load more memory.